This is not how you watch a movie.

I have made a personal resolution not to watch movies with other people anymore, at least not for the first time. I go to the movies pretty much every week, often with friends and family. I prefer going by myself. Anytime a friend asks me to go to a movie, I always want to say no, yet almost always say yes. It’s simply a matter of manners. There’s never really a good reason for saying, “Yes, I want to see that movie, but by myself, if you don’t mind.”

For most people, seeing a movie is a perfect hang-out activity. As such, not agreeing to see a movie with a friend is like saying you don’t want to hang out with that person, which may not necessarily be the case. I just get so easily annoyed when it comes to the movies because they are my primary distraction in life. It drives me crazy to sit next to someone who is not paying attention, whether because they’re talking or texting or intermittently leaving. This is all an incredible distraction for me who is actually there to watch the movie without interruption. The annoyance increases if someone leaves by their own choice and then asks me to further delay my viewing enjoyment by asking what happened while they were away. And sometimes it can’t so easily be explained in a hurried whisper. Use the restroom and get refreshments before it starts and this will rarely be an issue.

There are other things people do at the movies that distract and annoy me, like fidgeting, eating, sniffling and breathing heavily. I understand these things can’t be helped and I hold nothing against the person doing them, but that doesn’t keep them from deterring my immersion in the movie. Again, when I go to the movies, I want to watch the movie. If I want to hang out, I’ll do it elsewhere.

Some people specifically go to movies with their friends to discuss it afterwards. I do not enjoy this. For one thing, I typically write my reviews the next day, to allow enough time for the movie to sink in and my thoughts to come together. Immediately after the movie is not a good time for me to give my opinion at any real length. This is particularly obnoxious when I hated the movie and my friend loved it, or vice versa. I usually avoid saying anything at all in these situations, and the whole thing can be so awkward that the experience is soiled. This goes for situations where you’re seeing a movie that contains content you know the other person doesn’t like, which results in spending half the movie worrying about it. It’s far better to go alone and bother just with your own opinions.

 In most cases, I watch movies alone in my room. Throughout the film, my door remains shut and my phone off, and I take as few breaks as possible. However, the benefits of seeing movies on the big screen while you still can are great enough to warrant my regular visits even when they’re aggravating. That is why I’ve decided to simply stop seeing movies with other people. Not to offend them and not to cut myself off from the world, but because I literally cannot enjoy a movie unless I’m alone, and it’s foolish to keep ignoring that. This all probably sounds very obsessive and silly to most, but it’s the way I feel about it and I wanted to explain myself before anyone started getting mad at me. Besides all my selfish intentions, I’m also helping my friends by not going with them, because they should be just as concerned about being annoyed by me as I am by them.

Look at it this way. When you’re reading a book, you probably don’t put up with someone sitting beside you talking, chewing loudly, nudging you, or asking what’s happening. If you don’t invest in a movie just as much, then you’re not fully experiencing it. All movies, even bad ones, deserve enough respect that we at least pay attention. That is all.